I am not the ghost, and this is not story about me. We read the same book together, we write on the same notes together. Turns out it tells about separate story.
“Let me guess. You wan’t to know why every time i let my self fall into past will led me into a complete riot in the end, at least, that’s how they measure themselves to understand my stories. I won’t show them what creeps me the most, and i know they don’t care too. But i hope you speak the language, the silence haunt me, the loud annoyed me. Tell me, am i a ghost now?”
– Raya’s first words to me
This is a short story about how i see ghost for the last time i see on her tears, as there is a ghost involved, you might call it a ghost story. But every tears is a ghost story. The dead sit on the tip of your eyes, long after they have gone.
This particular story belongs to Raine “Raya” Yazminah. She was not the ghost too. She was very real. I found her grabs my attention across through my window, we were strangers long before I move to that foreign country, fell in love under a thousand stars, tells possibly meetings story about today (when we just continue the chains of life, the bond of feeling and facing the part of moving on). Back to those days;
“I wonder what is the best pick up line to start talk with you again, one day, when we become a complete stranger, when i’m not the guy who hold your hand like this anymore?”
– I flirt her into my humor sense
She tighten her grips, talk in to my deepest eyes, said; “Why you imagine that far? Are we gonna be stranger? Even when we still together?”
Looking back, it was a fate that i finally found her on existence and it was a fate too once it burns by distance.
“I guess, thats what everyone said about this human feeling. Same like a ghost stories.”
– I answered
I wish there’s no reason for me to write this story on this blog. But there is something I really wanted to share, something that most of people search in life for. This story confirming some truth the deeper understanding of who we are as human beings. We all loves stories, we born for them.
What i have written here is what Raya told me in our conversation that morning. Which stretched out much longer than that. You may not believe it anyhow.
Before you continue read this, ask your self first: Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. What if you got it back?
“Last night, I dream she was with me, my long gone lover, we met in some place, I’m not sure where it was. We decide which stuff we should choose, I’m not sure also what stuff we talking about, what matter is, I saw her again after awhile, even just in a dream. Now i feel i am not awake at all, seeing you front of me makes me feel like this life is a solid fiction.”
Raya seem start to focus about what I said, which I believe she was waiting to blow this conversation by how she end up at front of me. I told her my situation was complicated and I don’t want to take her time to talk about it as i want to know what happen on her, the person that i love the most just to leave her heart with scars in the sudden of separation. My biggest question was; “Why she’s here?”
(I will continue this story someday in a gloomy April, i feel bad if i have to keep it on pending review, that’s why i publish it, so hang on, i’ll be back like a ghost. -author)