It sounds easy, but it is not. I know because i am writing my first book: "Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop" ~Alice in Wonderland
I am not what happened to me, but who am I to me?
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There are so many things that I don’t understand
There’s a world within me that I cannot explain
Many room to explore but the doors look the same
I am lost, I can’t even remember my name
I am all in the sea of wonders
I doubt; I fear; I think
Strange things which I
Dare not confess to my
Own soul
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When the ego dies, the soul awakes
“I’m not a writer, at least long time ago i thought i’m not gonna end up to be writer. But in front of your screen now, there’s words by me.
My tragedy is was that i loved words more than i loved the women, who inspired me to write them.
I wish there’s no reason for me to write this story on this blog. But there is something i really wanted to share, something that most of people search in life for. This season I am more open for many more disappointment and failure, with this I am more ready for anything, to face the new season of my soul.
Maybe i can’t find cool analogies, pretty metaphors, or write a lovely dopey poem like i used to write before. Because i want this to be ultra simple, the most primitive form of telling how i feel: “I love you”
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~ ~ ~
I don’t know what’s going to happen from here, but i do know is that i want to be with you. I’ve witness how you felt, all your feelings are true. You make me smile, you are always there in my many night sleepless, and you are just simply amazing. I’m so happy that i had the privilege having you in my life.
We get along so well; the goofyness we share and our conversations are something I’d never trade for anything. I know we can become something special, and life is not sure with it self, season always changing, and future is a mystery that no one could not even understand it.
I hope you see that too.
Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation
~ ~ ~
Hey you,
I didn’t leave because
I stopped loving you
I left because the longer
I stayed the less
I love my self.
~ ~ ~
“Its so hard to let it go, when you meant the world to me.” ~miamou
Corniche of Tears
You never really back home. You never been go out. You still here, laying your body for the last time, at place where nobody know your name
You may not know why,
You may not know how,
Much easier to act strong then to act weak for you. You could fight the fear but you couldn’t handle a single tear. Because your body needs to float all over the pain and needs to start it all over again, until you hear those strangers inside you sounds like they singing about “Home”.
Is not a sin if you just want to witnesses her again.
I thought I see your tears,
I thought I hear your fears,
Remember what I say;
“The home was not exist, once you step outside. Is not there anymore.”
She sat down and wept, right at edge of the Corniche. Put our eyes straight through eyes right to the deepest side of our heart. We know how fast this flower will blossom and die right after for just a moment. Quite close to what we needs, and far away from where the sea and city meets.
There was only two big question ‘we’ (Human) wants to understand from the Universe;
“When should we start and when should we stop?“
Her glisten eyes strive to reflect those city lights from the place where we stand. I saw the lights melting on her tear drops, flow to the tops, they flew and tend to resist the gravity, they floating away above our world. They comes back as a storm, strike between her eyes, and she began again to cry.
“You can make a different, and tell a different story. Your heart, can safe my world.“
“Those city lights, will light up her street, down where the sea and city meets. May all your suffer soon be gone.
And,
“Those reflected lights from her eyes, they will light up your street, maybe one day they will bring her back to you.”
~miamou
Plot on this post was inspired by my selection of related songs: Tribute to Ramelia – Ram, Christmas Lights – Coldplay, One Heart – Ana Criado. And some Books: Theres No New York Today(tidak ada new york hair ini) – Unknown, The Zahir – Paulo Coelho, Plot Of Love – Mia (lost and found author), By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept – Paulo Coelho.
Each part and paragraph of this story was indirectly talking to me at one of my random sleepless night. It will tells you how love can somehow transform into everything, way far beyond imagination. Those songs and books i assume as the tools, my memories will reincarnate into “whisper” that express word by word and place to place. This story will brings past to every moment in future, the pills are actually good, and this simple plot will somehow, Remain.
Miamou
Love “in order to understand, i destroyed myself.” ~F. Pessoa, 1762 (Mt. Lourdes- France).
Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance. ~mia
“If they don’t lost existence, and if they can beat the distance. Believe me, love is not about win or loose. Its really not a game to play.”
⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋⌈⌋
I was here for a moment, then she was gone.
When you don’t believe your own eyes anymore, and hardly can’t remember your name.
Then silhouettes holds the past along with moments.
Suddenly they appear almost everywhere.
They’re behind your eyes.
Love,
When they loose existence, they will lost in distance.
“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.” ~mia
Its time to start again and holds on-to miracle of beginnings. ~miamou
She could be flower in every nightmare. Blossom in dark.
She speaks to me fondly of passions and talents, guitar and stars, ice cream and rainbow, dancing and beaches, past and miracle. Then stop short to apologies for speaking at all. She could be like that.
She could sit alone in every crowded place. Shadows behind the lights.
All because somewhere in her life, someone-blindfolded that she loved broke her heart again, ignore her letter and pure bliss on her wet eyes. And telling her to “shut up”, keep “it down”, “nobody cares”. She could be like that.
Someone once said; “People aren’t born sad. Happy? Yes, she could be.”
And suddenly she’s start one bravely steps, start singing to the stars with her rainbow ice cream, and dancing at the beach. She barely knows, that its time to start again and holds to miracle of beginnings.
She could be anywhere.
With anyone.
“there is something”
You deserve a love that takes away the lies and brings you illusion, coffee, and poetry. ~miamou
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You deserve a love that wants you disheveled, with everything and ask the reasons that wake you up in a haste, with everything and demons that won’t let you sleep.
You deserve a love that makes you feel secure, able to take the world when it walks beside you; that feel your embrace are perfect for its skin.
You deserve a love that wants to dance with you at beginning until end of party, that goes paradise every time it looks into your eyes and never gets tired of studying your expressions.
You deserve a love that still love you when your legs turn into root, your finger into twigs and your hair into leafage.
You deserve a love that listens when you sing, that support you when you act like a fool, that respect your freedom; that accompanies you when you fly and isn’t afraid to fall.
You deserve a love that takes away the lies and brings you illusion, coffee, and poetry.
dedicated to the love that ends my journey
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